Diary of a Futanari
by Amber Ui
Summary: Written in first-person diary format. Beth is a young woman with a huge secret. She is not like the other girls, though she considers herself to be one. What kind of trouble will she get into? This is her life's story written in present time. Rated M for very extreme sexual content and strong language. Various sexual pairings. More content will be added over time. R&R please! :)
1. First Entry

**Author's Notes:** Writing about a futa was on my mind for a long time now, I just didn't know whether to write it in first-person or third-person. I watched Gone Girl recently and decided that I should write this in the format of a diary to make it different. I have a lot of months planned out for Beth ahead, after that I'll see where it takes me so I can plan further. Feel free to suggest any ideas, I may use them in the future. Expect this to be updated at least once or twice a week.

**Content Notes:** This fiction is rated M for explicit sexual content and strong language. Absolutely no children allowed.

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><p><strong>October 29th, 2014<strong>

Dear Diary,

I've never done anything like this before so I'm not sure how to begin my first entry. I guess I can start by saying that my personal doctor bought me this diary, her name is Dr. Irwin and she's the best doctor I've ever had. She's so awesome! She understands me completely and I can tell her pretty much everything about my life, even the fact that I have a penis. Whoa… I can't believe I just wrote that down for the first time in my life. I have a penis. Wow! This is so much easier than I thought! I can probably write down what's on my mind without holding anything back! I'm not going to lie, I kind of forced myself to write this first entry but Dr. Irwin said it would help express my feelings and thoughts when I'm alone. I already like doing this and I can see myself doing it a lot, I guess it depends on what I'm doing or how I'm feeling.

For the heck of it, I should write down a little bit about myself. My full name is Elizabeth Lorraine O'Grady but I never like to be called any of those names by anyone. I only like to be called Beth, sometimes Liz. When I was in high school some of the other students would call me O'Grady because of my red hair, pale skin, and freckles that cover practically every inch of my body. I'm pretty Irish, though I'm not into a lot of Irish things. I don't have the accent either, thank goodness for that. I like the color green though!

Let's see… what else is there? I just turned 19 a month ago and I'm juggling with college and working 30 hours a week as a fast food cashier at Don's Burgers. I fucking hate my job but it helps me pay for my schooling. I'll take random babysitting jobs too to help save up money faster, I can even study and do homework after the kids are sleeping, but that depends on who I'm babysitting. Come to think of it, I'm scheduled to babysit for the Benson family sometime after Halloween. Fuck my life.

I live in Cross City, which is in the northern part of Maryland. I've lived there for as long as I could remember and I plan on moving away at some point in my life, maybe after college. My roommate and childhood friend, Jessica, wants me to stay in Cross City forever. I love her to death, but I don't want to be in this boring city for the rest of my life. Nothing exciting happens here, well… except for that one time when me and a bunch of friends went to a HIM concert a few years ago, that was one of the greatest days of my life. I still owe Stefanie for buying me my ticket… too bad she moved away after high school.

I don't know what else to really say about myself. I'm a petite girl, probably 5'1", and I weigh around 115 pounds. I'm the smallest in my group of friends but I'm probably next to Caitlin for having the biggest breasts. I wear a 40C bra, having gone up from a 36C a few years ago. I love my boobs.

I mentioned earlier in this entry that I have a penis, it's the only thing that makes me completely different from the other girls. I'm what some people call a futanari, a girl born with both sexual organs. I don't have any balls to swing though because I have internal testes, I guess it makes it easier for me to hide such a big secret from the rest of the world. You can't imagine how lonely and frustrating it is for me to go on dates, I mean... how do I tell people that I have a huge cock?! My parents, my doctor, and Jessica are the only ones who know about my secret. I look like a girl, I act like a girl… well, most of the time, and I consider myself to be a girl. I wish I can explain more about that here, but it's 7:44 AM and I have an English class to go to. I'll write more in the next entry.


	2. My Secret

**October 30th, 2014**

Dear Diary,

As mentioned in my previous entry, today I'm going to write about my penis. This is the first time I'm going to write about it.

In my perspective, having a pussy and a penis is a normal thing because I was born with both. Dr. Irwin says there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. My penis isn't some birth defect or genetic mutation, it's just a very rare circumstance for a girl to be born with both sexual organs. I can see it being pretty bizarre to people since they've probably never seen or heard of a futanari. I just wish I can just tell my friends about who I really am instead of keeping that side of me a secret. I'm not afraid of opening myself up to them, I'm just afraid they'll push me away and call me a freak…

When I told Jessica about me being a futanari a couple of years ago, she laughed and thought I was lying. I actually had to show her my penis just to prove who I really was. I half-expected her to be afraid and not be my best friend anymore, but she understood everything completely. She was happy that I could trust her with my secret. We've been friends for over 10 years now, I guess it's come to a point that nothing could tear our friendship apart.

To me, my penis is among the greatest things I love about myself. I measure its size from time to time because it's been growing quite a bit in my teenage years. When I was 14 it was 5 inches long, and then it was 7 inches when I was 17. As of last week, my penis is just over 9 inches long and three inches wide. It's pretty big, especially since I have such a petite build. I love how monstrous it looks when it's completely hard and covered in bulging veins. It's pretty pale from the base of my penis to about three quarters up, probably paler than the rest of my body, but then it gets a bit darker the rest of the way up the circumcised head. It's convenient that my cock is located just above my pussy, I can play with both at the same time if I wanted to.

I jerk my penis off about 8 or 9 times a day, and the most I've ever done was 14, maybe 15. I can't help that I'm overly sexual! It's probably because I have both sex organs. Still, jerking myself off is the highlight of most of my days. I don't have a lock on my bedroom door and Jessica has never caught me shooting my huge, creamy load yet, but recently she caught me masturbating one time when she showed me her new jeans. She quickly went back out and closed the door saying she was sorry for disturbing me. I was startled a bit because she didn't knock, but I wasn't upset. We haven't talked about it since so I'm not sure if I grossed her out or not.

Anyway, I have to work in a bit and then I'm getting my Halloween costume for my friend's party, it's going to be at Emily's house. I plan on being a vampire, so being pale-skinned will probably help with the make-up. I'll write down how that went as it happens.


	3. Crazy Thoughts

**November 1, 2014**

Dear Diary,

The Halloween party I went to at Emily's house last night was pretty lame, I ended up going home almost an hour after I arrived. Not many people showed up in the first place, and the people that did show up I didn't care to talk to because I didn't know them. Plus, there was that rap music, I fucking hate rap. I probably would've stayed for another hour or two just for some pop or rock. I can't believe I put on a lot of vampire makeup just so I can show up for that dumb party. It would been my worst Halloween ever if Jessica's little cousin didn't share me some of her chocolate, that was really nice of her.

I felt better this morning when I woke up with that raging boner. For some fucked up reason though I thought about Jessica while I was sleeping. It was a _really_ bad feeling to have since I grew up with her as kids and she's the greatest friend I've ever had. There's also the fact that she's a girl and I'm a girl, well… most of me is anyway. I began to jerk myself off, starting off by stroking the head of my penis with lube in one hand. I tried to think of something else while I was doing that, but Jessica's smile and those times she bent over in front of me to pick something up kept popping back in my mind. I've never thought about her like this before, so why the fuck was this happening now?! I put lube on the other hand and stroked on the base of my penis. After a while, I twisted firmly with both hands, going fast and then slow to tease myself. I bit down on my bottom lip and moaned out loud at that point, imagining Jessica's mouth sucking hungrily on my cock. I hope she didn't hear me moaning since I didn't want to wake her up. I was really enjoying myself even though I couldn't get her out of my mind. I could feel myself about to explode as the head of my penis began to inflate. I can't even begin to tell you how wrong yet enjoyable this orgasm was. About three or four long, thick spurts of semen shot up a few feet in the air and splattered all over my boobs and face. It was so hot and sticky. I laid there with closed eyes and heavy breathing as Jessica left my mind. Even though it was so, so wrong to think about her like that, it was one of my greatest orgasms yet. I hope I don't think about her like that again.

Is it really wrong for me to think about another girl getting me off? I have a penis, so you'd think it would be okay since it's meant to enter a vagina. I'm a virgin, in both areas, I've never had the pleasure of entering a girl or a guy entering me. Hopefully I won't die a virgin, there's got to be somebody that will accept me for who I am. Look at me, I sound so corny. If I found out anybody was reading this I'd probably have a heart attack…


	4. Excited!

**November 6****th****, 2014**

Dear Diary,

It's been almost a week since my last entry. I've been so busy with work and school that I haven't had time to write down my thoughts. Like I said before, I work at Don's Burgers as a cashier, mostly during the evening shift after I'm done my classes. I also mentioned before that I hate my job because management is fucking retarded and I have to wear tacky work clothes like a yellow shirt and black pants. I'm glad the pants are a little baggy on me because it hides my penis really well. If I happen to get an erection, well… that's hard to conceal. I usually have to ask to use the bathroom so I can take care of business before anyone notices something wrong. I had a fun time in the bathroom stall a couple of nights ago, but I thought of Jessica again. This time, jerking off while thinking about her didn't feel as fucked up as before, which has me a little worried. I guess I'll have to explain this.

I was going to have a movie night with Jessica and some other friends at our apartment after work that night. Usually when we have our movie get-togethers, she wears this purple nightgown with black lace on the bottom. I absolutely love that nightgown and it goes really well with her long brown hair. Anyway, the last time we had a movie night, which was a couple of months ago, she accidentally bent over and flashed me the red thong she was wearing when she was really drunk. I could see about half of her vagina lips too since the thong was kind of twisted. Anyway, thinking about that a couple of nights ago was what get me so especially worked up in the bathroom stall. My penis was rock hard and seeping pre-cum before I was able to take my pants down. I rubbed my pre-cum into that thick, veiny cock with both hands, jerking myself off so roughly while thinking about Jessica. It didn't take me long to cum, so I quickly aimed the throbbing head at the toilet and shot four thick loads of sperm directly into the water without getting any on the toilet seat. After I regained my composure, I wasn't sure if I was completely satisfied to get back to work yet, so I jerked off again… this time, I was really loud. I had to cover my mouth to keep myself from moaning out loud while jerking my meat. I kept thinking about Jessica with every yank and it how it would feel to be inside her. I was so lost in pleasure and thought that I forgot to aim my cock at the toilet again when I exploded. My eyes shot up in the back of my head as I blew my thick load all over the wall above the toilet. The force of my cum splashed on both sides of the stall, but I didn't care… it felt so incredibly awesome! My cock was completely limp after that, dripping semen all over the floor. I got back to my senses and watched as some of the lumps of sperm slid down the wall. It was really perverted, but I enjoyed it. I quickly cleaned up my mess, got back to work, and was able to finish my shift without any "problems".

To forget about my fantasies of Jessica, I joined a futanari website earlier today where people in their area can meet, make friends, or have sex. I looked through some profiles across the country and found that a lot of guys and girls love (or would love) having sex with a futanari. I was impressed, but there aren't a lot of futanari on that website though just because it's very rare to come across someone like me. There are even some girls who pretend they are futanari just so they can do some sexual role-playing with a strap-on. I'm the real deal, so I made a profile with no picture to keep myself anonymous and wrote a detailed description without giving myself away. And you know what? About an hour ago, I looked at my inbox and got a message from two people in my area! One was a girl and one was a guy. They didn't look familiar though.

I felt insulted by the guy. He wrote; "_Chicks born with dicks aren't real. Get a life, freak_." I wrote back calling him an asshole and then blocked him. Ugh… why do people have to be so callous?!

The girl looked interesting enough. From what I could see of her photos, she's kind of on the chubby side with short black hair that looked dyed, black-framed glasses, and a pretty smile. I wonder what her name is? I could tell she was big into rock music like Nirvana and Black Veil Brides. She wrote; _"You actually live here in Cross City? I hope you're the real deal because I would totally suck your dick and watch you blow! Send me a private photo of yourself, pretty please?" _So, before I wrote this entry, I told her my name and sent a couple of selfies to her. I had a huge erection after that and even took a picture of myself with my huge cock just to prove that I'm real. I haven't gotten a response yet, but hopefully I will tomorrow. I'm eager to find out what she replies with because I really want to blast my hot, creamy sperm all over her face and glasses. I've never been with anybody before, so I hope I'm not too nervous or anything if this happens. Fuck, I'm so hard right now… I'll just end this entry here before I blow.


End file.
